Just like anyone who lives with chronic issues, I am aware of my symptoms. I have depression/anxiety with panic attacks. The triggers or things that cause symptoms to worsen can usually be easy to identify, and then easy to avoid. Sounds simple enough. If a particular person or a particular action creates more anxiety for me then I will just avoid them, right? Yeah, not so much. Besides overtime triggers can seem to change, reactions, as well as the response, can also begin to vary.
My symptoms began to terrify me in new and different ways this past weekend. I have suffered from anxiety with panic attacks for many years and I may not stop them but I have learned to slow them down. Well at least until my symptoms presented themselves uncommonly. Instead of heart palpitations, there was a weakness. Instead of hyperventilating, I simply had to force my air back and forth. Nevertheless, I was caught off guard by these new time thieves. Several hours later I still do not know what triggered that debilitating episode. For more stories on symptoms and day to day life: Tidal Wave
So I make an appointment with my psychiatrist who after a lengthy discussion feels the medical Dr needs to evaluate me. Once I see the regular physician, she wants me to see a specialist. Now, while I am being passed from doctor to doctor I am receiving some treatment. However, since I am being sent on is it the right treatment? Or is this some sort of medical sport they play with us? All I truly understand is that when you need help you generally do not want that to wait. Period. Yes, I know I am not the only ill person in the world and that the doctor has other patients to see, but my symptoms are screaming at me which in turn make me want to scream at them.
So I will take my medication like a good girl and I will wait for my referral. And I will pray a prayer of thanks that God doesn’t require a referral. He will see me now. He will listen now. He understands now and is working on my behalf now.