Bats in the Belfry Disturbing the Cobwebs of my Mind

    My boss had me on a tight deadline, and I was behind schedule.  My insides were full of those proverbial butterflies, and they had begun to annoy the devil out of me.  I was short additional help.  Part of my equipment was down.  For some reason, everything I touched that day seemed to turn to sand in my fingers.  I felt defeated and lost.

I knew that in a mere couple of hours the phone would ring and I would be forced to listen to the voice of my supervisor.  He usually reminded me of all the things that I was not doing to his satisfaction.  If you sell well this week.  Then you better sell more next week.  Should you receive recognition from the home office for a particular win, he would quiz you about why you didn’t receive two.  However, this particular day seemed more stressful than ever.

Customers would enter the establishment, and I would feel relief.  They were the reason I stayed.  They brought me joy and happiness.  I enjoyed meeting people and doing my best to supply them with what they were in need of that particular visit.

The bell on the front door sounded the leaving of another satisfied guest and I returned to my task.  I grabbed the stickers and went up the ladder.  Being short was never any help in retail. I tagged a few more products and realized I was in need of more tags.

I tried to hurry so I could get this ordeal complete quickly and that is when my life changed forever.  A searing pain like being stuck with a hot iron jabbed me in the center of my back.  I thought I would collapse.  I tried to continue working, but this monster that had a hold of me was not kidding.  A began to sweat.  It hurt to breathe.

I never returned to work.  They could not fix the problem.  They tried many times but nothing seemed to accomplish killing the pain.

I went through the loopholes for workman’s compensation, and suddenly I was declared MMI.  Maximum Medical Improvement.  I was not well, but they didn’t know what else to do.

So, I find myself not old, but moving like an old woman.  I suffer from back pain, Sciatic pain, nerve pain in my arms and legs.  Migraine headaches, depression and anxiety with panic attacks.  NO WONDER I FEEL BAT CRAP CRAZY!

Crazy people are defined as mentally deranged, especially as manifested in a wild or aggressive way.  Now, let’s be honest there are all kinds of crazy pictures running through your mind right now.

 

I can not sit or stand for long periods of time.  I become tired easily.  And anxiety can rear it’s disgusting head any time.  I can become nervous because someone looked at me or because the Mart store moved something.  It is enough to make a person feel completely out of control.

 

I am not telling you this for a pity party or for you to feel sorry for me, I do, however, want you to know that I am doing my very best to create something here that is unique.  Something that is worth sharing.  I believe that there are a ton of people out there that find themselves in a similar place to mine.  Like, Man, even the government says,” No you are not bad off enough for benefits.”

I want regular people to know that someone understands that it is tough out there.  I want you to be able to glean something from my experiences.  I want to be able to teach you a trick I have learned, or a craft that I have created.

I want you to be able to smile and laugh.  Even if you start the sentence out by saying,” I think this lady is a bit crazy, but guess what she wrote!”  Get my drift?  More on my situation: Follow this link: Future?

I am not an expert on anything.  Unless you use the definition of an expert as a drip under pressure.  Okay not the best joke in town, but I still think it’s funny.  My point is I don’t know everything, but what I do know, I try and do my best at.  This is all I can figure to do now, in my physical and mental condition.  I set my own hours, and see the doctors and rest as needed.  I wish there was more I could do.

I pray to the precious Lord above that you will enjoy reading the musings of an unbalanced middle-aged woman.  I pray that you will subscribe to the email list, and receive freebies and exclusive offers that other folks just won’t get.  I also pray that you will be praying for me and my blog to succeed.  I pray that you will share it will your friends, family and even people you don’t know.  I pray for God’s blessings on you and your situation too.

So, here I sit practically in the dark.  My computer is in my lap and my feet are propped up and my back is leaning against pillows.  My little dog, Bryant, is right beside me on the loveseat.  I am becoming exhausted from finishing this up.  Do not remember how many times I had t take a break.  Yep, I must be a crazy person.

My best wishes to you and yours!   It’s time for my nap while the bats are quiet.

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